Finding things when you stop looking for them, including happiness

You know how teeth-grittingly annoying it is to mislay something.

You’re certain you put your keys down somewhere when you got home, for example.

You’re quite sure you had them with you: how else could you have unlocked the door, for goodness’ sake?


But can you now find them now?

Can you heck.

So what do you do?

Well, you keep searching, sometimes with increasing desperation, but you keep searching.

Often, though, a helpful strategy can be to temporarily stop.

Sit down and have a cup of tea, and the answer often pops into your head while you don’t think you’re focusing on the problem.

So you find them, and who knows why you’d ever have put your keys on the shelf in the bathroom?

But that’s where they were.


Something keeps you searching, (in the case of keys, it may well be a sense of panic about what might happen if they don’t turn up) and it’s probably the determination that you will eventually turn up whatever it is that’s gone missing.

You have a clear goal in mind, and you believe you’ll achieve it by hook or by crook.

How different from the way it can feel when your mood has taken a wrong turn, though.

The other night I was with some people, one of whom had been battling through some weeks of depression.

It was by no means the first time in his life that this had happened to him, but despite knowing he’d come out of it in the past, it seemed different this time.

He couldn’t see it ending.

The thing is, though, I think it feels different EVERY time.

You may be certain that you’ll find your keys, but when depression’s black dog nips at your heels, I’m afraid it’s easy to slip into convincing yourself that this time it’s going to be for good.

But it won’t be, will it?

I suspect you’ll have beaten it in the past, and you’ll do so again.

So perhaps we should show a little more faith?

Maybe, just as we nearly always find the keys, we need to trust that we’ll re-find our happiness?

It’s out there somewhere, perhaps not on the bathroom shelf, but you’ll almost certainly locate it (generally once you’ve stopped looking for it).

4 thoughts on “Finding things when you stop looking for them, including happiness

  1. You are so right that each time depression lands even though so much is horribly familiar there is that thought that that time it won’t lift as it’s different.

    Holding on to trust is tough and the ‘waiting it out’ so frustrating but there is little choice but to do exactly that.

  2. So true, Jon and so easy to think we can never climb up and out of depression.

    My family seem to think the easiest way to find anything lost in our house is? Yes, they ask me!
    Of course they have ‘looked everywhere’ for (fill in the blanks) and yet I seem to be able to locate the ‘whatever it is’ fairly quickly…maybe I have a gift that they don’t have? Maybe this is my one true purpose in life???!!!

    Or maybe I just look properly!! Lol!

  3. I think that the “key” is always inside, sometimes it gets dark, sometimes our surroundings don’t let us see and feel clearly. In my view happiness depends on the thoughts we have, are they ours or from someone else? We need to connect with our true self and believe that we are a miracle who can witness life and consciuosness as it is, how wonderful is that.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *