Are you a better friend to others than you are to yourself?

Let’s just imagine for one moment that a good friend is having a hard time. How might you help her?

For a start, you’d probably be kind. You’d encourage and support her, and try to help her see that you empathise with her.


You might make some gentle suggestions, some of which could revolve around her looking after herself – trying to get a good night’s sleep, eating healthily, getting out for a walk, not ‘self-medicating’ with alcohol or drugs.

I’m sure you wouldn’t criticise her, nor tell her that she only has herself to blame.

You wouldn’t ignore her.

But now let’s imagine that the person going through the bad time isn’t a good friend.

It’s you.

How would you help yourself?

I’m sorry to say that when the going gets tough, many of us are much less kind to ourselves than we would be to our friends.

We can be downright mean, behaving in a way in which we’d never do towards a friend.

So next time things aren’t quite right for you, please do me a favour.

Be kind to yourself. Be your own friend.

6 thoughts on “Are you a better friend to others than you are to yourself?

  1. Crikey, are you in my head today or what??!!
    Exactly what’s been going on this week. Helping a friend through her marital problems but so hard on myself!
    Wake up Karen….be kind today!

  2. Yes! I’m terrible at this, in general. When my partner is having a rough time with anxiety, as I leave for work, I ask her to be kind with herself. She scoffs, and I clarify: be as kind to yourself as you would be to me. At least she hears it… because it’s easier to say than to do.

    Thank you!

  3. I’m very hard on myself all the time. Today for example, I got some exam results, and instead of just being pleased I passed, my first thought was that of disappointment that I didn’t do better. Never mind that the results are unlikely to change my overall grade for the course, and that I really struggled with the timing in the exam. I would NEVER be so harsh with anyone else, so definitely needed to be reminded to be kinder to myself today.

  4. I really needed this one I’m way to hard on myself, I’m mean bad. Ain’t no one gonna be nice so I need to really start be nicer, taking better care of.

  5. This is so true! You are not always kind to yourself. You always see the bad in you first, before the good. Be your own best friend!

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