Why you’re absolutely, positively, categorically great, just as you are

I wouldn’t embarrass them by naming them, but throughout my life there have been people I knew who I’d have given anything to have been more like.

Some were more successful academically.

Some were funnier.

Some seemed more popular.

Some had more good fortune in the romance department.


In fact, once I start it seems as if I could write a very long list of those who were more creative, more musically-gifted, more athletic, more confident.

On the face of it, these could be the words of someone with low self-esteem.

Actually, however, I’m pretty certain I wasn’t that different from most people.

I suspect it’s simply human nature to compare and contrast yourself with others, and to see qualities in them that you wish you possessed.

Of course, an attitude such as this tends to ignore the fact that you’re certain to have skills, talents and abilities that others admire.

And taken to extremes it suggests that you aspire to a world in which everyone’s great, but everyone’s the same.

What a dull old place that would be, however.

Surely it’s the fact that we’re all different to some degree that makes life so rich?

Aren’t you glad you’re an individual rather than just another member of a bland crowd?

In a car park full of monochrome silver/grey/black/white vehicles, wouldn’t it actually be rather nice to be the bright yellow model that stands out brightly?

It’s easier to believe that everything would be better if only you could be more like (insert name).

Almost certainly, however, it wouldn’t.

Almost certainly this person has their own set of difficulties of which you know nothing.

Isn’t it better to accept who you are?

And isn’t it EVEN better to celebrate your individuality?

4 thoughts on “Why you’re absolutely, positively, categorically great, just as you are

  1. Another thing – you’re taking the best of lots of people and wishing you had ALL those qualities, even though they only had one (or a few) qualities each. For instance an athletic friend might not also be funny and the funny kind friend not athletic. When I looked at it like that I realised just how high I was setting the bar for myself by wanting to be all these things at once!

  2. Quite right, Jon ! You put it very well. But isn’t it typical that when low, we do that very thing of comparing, of feeling we don’t “measure up” to other people. As I’ve got older though, I’ve realised that everyone suffers in some way, however smart, rich, successful, endowed with family and friends or other gifts. It is the human condition, and our task is to make the very best of what we have been given, or improve on it. It isn’t easy, but with age, I feel more contented and have a lot more empathy towards others. There isn’t anyone I feel jealous or even envious of. Because at any time, they too could suffer a tragedy, or experience mental health problems, in fact, health problems of any type.

  3. Perfect article for me at the moment. Why? Because age is teaching me that conforming to the norm is really boring and it doesn’t help me do a great job, it just helps me get the job done. When I allow myself to be me I feel effervescent and it shows in everything I do and touch. I’m a bit quirky in my style but I find it’s fun to be me….Am I getting old and liberated ? bring it on!

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