Why being comfortable with yourself doesn’t mean giving up on hope

Quite often I write about being comfortable with who you are, but when I do I’m sometimes taken to task by a Moodnudges reader or two.

In the nicest possible way, of course. We’re an awfully civil community here, for which I count my blessings.

In general there’s much to be said for accepting yourself as the person you are, for there are certain aspects which may be pretty much set in stone.


Sometimes for instance I think I’d like to lose a few pounds, but since I enjoy my food, like a drink now and then, and am frankly unlikely to take up marathon running, it’s probably better that I should be satisfied with who I am rather than becoming dissatisfied with who I’m not.

Where people politely pick me up on this concept, though, is when it comes to the nasties such as depression and anxiety.

They wonder if I’m suggesting that someone who suffers from a mood problem should simply accept it as a given – as a permanent condition.

And, of course, I’m not.

I’m really not.

Of course there may be a few for whom long-term treatment is the only answer, and it’s crucial that they get the support and care they so vitally need.

For millions more, however (and I’m convinced that it’s the majority) the real you isn’t the you who’s currently experiencing problems.

With the right help, the right mind-set, the right level of acceptance, it should absolutely be possible to visualise yourself being in a better place.

Almost certainly this can’t happen overnight.

While moods fluctuate day to day, real change takes place over time, and we hear evidence of this all the time from Moodnudges readers.

Patience is a necessity when it comes to emotional repair.

Yesterday I talked about not being defined by your current state of mind, if it’s a low or troubled one.

So maybe the ‘us’ we should be comfortable with is the true ‘us’, not necessarily the one we may be feeling right now.

3 thoughts on “Why being comfortable with yourself doesn’t mean giving up on hope

  1. Jon, I joined your web site because I was impressed by how your short but pithy postings encapsulate such helpful understanding of the ‘human condition’. My days are easier as a consequence and I thank you for smoothing my path through life. I have no doubt that I am one of thousands whose lives have been touched and improved by your generous sharing.

  2. Thank Jon. I love the ‘accepting yourself’ posts personally. As someone who puts a tremendous amount of pressure on myself to be ‘this’ or ‘that’, it’s a welcome reminder that I don’t have to be ‘perfect’. That good enough is good enough. I see it as being like the quote:
    God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
    Without the God bit if that doesn’t float your boat.
    It stops me in my tracks beating myself up. And that has to be a good thing! Sally S.

  3. I was thinking about this earlier today, before I read your post, Jon, so your words have struck a chord. At the moment life is flat for me and I have little enthusiasm for things that used to excite me. But I have realised that, paradoxically, I am comfortable in this state. The thought of doing something that might make me feel better just fills me with weariness. I can’t envisage myself in a better place because it also means envisaging having the energy, and even that thought drains me. But you are right- this isn’t the real me, and just because I feel comfortable where I am now doesn’t mean that it’s the place I want to stay long term. Just for now though I’ll exercise patience, be kind to myself, and wait for the shift to a better place.
    Thank you for reminding me that another reality exists.

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