If you want to help others, pay attention to their absence, on social media for example.

Back in the days when I wasn’t as open about the ups and downs of my mood as I am today, I used to imagine that others had no idea how I was feeling.

I figured I’d wear my mask – the one you think nobody can see through – and to some degree it worked, but only to a certain extent.


I think your mood leaks out in more ways than you may believe.

One friend says he sees my true state in my eyes.

Another in my voice.

A third in the way I walk (upright and all’s fine, stooped and it isn’t).

These physiological markers make sense.

But a while ago I experienced a new one (a fascinating one) with Pete, a good real-life friend who I don’t see as often as we’d like – because of the distance – but with whom I’m also friends on Facebook.

Now we don’t normally message each other through Facebook – these days we tend to email – but of course your Facebook friends do see anything else you may post to the site.

Things like your own status updates, or your comments on other people’s.

And Pete had detected that all may not have been right for me because I’d gone a bit quiet.

Isn’t it intriguing that it might sometimes be an absence of behaviour that can give the game away?

It’s definitely worth thinking about this with your own friends, and if there’s someone who seems to have gone off the radar, why not send them a quick email or text today?

Tell them Jon sent you.

3 thoughts on “If you want to help others, pay attention to their absence, on social media for example.

  1. This was a good message today. Funny I find myself backing off the computer when I am feeling down. It is a good thing to look for in others too.

  2. I love your posts Jhon!

    Actually, I’m on a hurry….I have to contact a friend of mine. I’ll tell her you sent me to…;)

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