When you need help, it pays to ask

Google returns over eight and a half billion (that’s right, BILLION) results when you search for the word ‘help’.

In anyone’s terms that’s a lot.

Mind you, Google’s ‘auto-complete’ feature (which suggests ideas as you type) thankfully suggests that not every searcher is seeking salvation.

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Add the word ‘me’, for instance, and Google suggests that the most popular searches are for ‘Help Me Lose My Mind’, ‘Help Me Make it Through the Night’, and ‘Help Me Rhonda’. Alongside these three tunes, there’s just one cry for help: ‘Help Me Lose Weight’.

When do you really need help it’s unlikely to come from Disclosure, Gladys Knight, or the Beach Boys. In all probability it’s going to come from someone who’s close at hand.

But just as Google simply sits there quietly waiting for you to ask something, friends and family may not realise that you need help until you actually ask for it.

Maybe, like me, you’ve a tendency to believe that your needs are always obvious. In fact this is rarely the case.

So the next time you could truly do with a hand, please be sure to ask for it. Rhonda.

7 thoughts on “When you need help, it pays to ask

  1. Generally our friends and family do want to help us, but even people who know us well cannot always read our mind. The tendency to isolate ourselves and not to bother anyone, be stoic is can be engrained . But I know when anyone asks me for help I feel flattered and always want to do my best by them. It is actually easier in some ways to be the helper than the helpee. No man or woman is an island and we all need people sometimes.

    Thank you Jon yet again for your HELP , I really look forward to reading your nudges

  2. I never like asking people for things as i feel like i am being a nuisance. I do realise that if you don’t tell people what you need they can’t offer. I don’t like asking for emotional help as i always think i “should” be able to get my act together and sort out my own shit. I don’t like “dumping” my crappy mood on other people, who may feel obligated to “sort me out”… more often than not, just being able to say it like it is, can be a relief. Suffering in silence makes you feel worse.

    1. Thank you for sharing, Julia, and thank you for not suffering in silence! You are definitely not alone in having mixed feelings about asking for help. I think your comment will inspire many of us to speak up in some small way today, maybe ask for just one tiny thing. Sending you hugs! 🙂

  3. A bit of a tangent but this post reminded me of something and made me smile remembering it: I was once in one of those relationships where we both knew it should end… but we had put seven years into it and it wasn’t all bad, but we knew it was over… yet we just kept dragging it on. I couldn’t ask friends for advice as I knew what anyone would say, i.e. something along the lines of, “it’s your choice but really, QUIT.”

    Funnily enough it was that throwaway pop Beach Boys song with its incessant hook which was the advice I listened to in the end. I hadn’t heard the song in about 20 years but it kept going around in my head. I knew I needed a Rhonda. (And found one.) Timeless advice I guess. I think that’s the thing about (some) pop music: it’s mostly meaningless until you identify with it because you’re in love or out of it, and then it becomes the most profound wisdom! 🙂

  4. I saw the film The Theory of Everything last week (great film by the way) and I was amazed at the way Stephen Hawkins’s wife was just expected to get on with looking after her husband on her own once he was diagnosed with motor neutron disease. Friends and family ‘talked’ about helping but few did and some did quite the opposite of help. His wife Jane, struggles valiantly on. Now this was a film, although based on Jane’s memoirs, and may not be 100 percent accurate but it did strike me that a good course of action would have been to ask for help. This might not always be successful, but often the people around us really don’t have a clue what we need and can be surprised and very willing to do their bit if asked.

  5. Of course you are right Jon, but having a ‘right’ person to ask at the right time isn’t always an option available.

    Love the Beach Boys cover picture- made smile!

  6. Along the Beach Boys theme… I have literally had a lot of help from listening to their music. Brian Wilson had a breakdown and suffered with Depression for many years. For anyone out there who wants to listen to some uplifting yet poignant music…try the song The warmth of the Sun. Or good vibrations My all time favourite is Love and Mercy by Brian Wilson. Love and Mercy to you all, Anna x

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