You don’t expect your friends to change, so why are you so hard on yourself?

Do you have a list of your friends tucked away somewhere, detailing the ways in which you’d like them to change? Unless you’re a closet therapist, I suspect you don’t. Even though they undoubtedly have their little idiosyncrasies (and who doesn’t?) you’re friends with them because of, or sometimes in spite of, who they are.

Similarly, the ‘you’ they count as their friend is the person you are today, not some idealised version of your personality that you maybe aspire to be.


Given this, given that we generally accept others as we find them, and expect them to accept us as WE are, it’s sometimes surprising to realise that we’re not always entirely comfortable with who we are, especially if we’re going through a rough patch.

Maybe we imagine that things would be so much better for us if only we were a little less over-conscientious, or a bit more outgoing, or a tad more positive.

There’s no doubt that we may all be capable of small degrees of change, but the key words there are ‘may’ and ‘small’. Circumstances and genetics have acted in tandem to create the you who wears your clothes, and the chances of you becoming someone very different are frankly pretty slim.

Better by far to embrace yourself for who you are today, and to accept that, having got this far in life, you already have a strong foundation to build on.

Think about the people who like and respect you just as you are. Maybe they’re right?

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